You know how you imagine what your life will be like? Like, when your young and think "someday the perfect man will com along, we will have perfect little children. Those children will always be clean and well dressed, say "please" and "thank you" and you will love every moment with them. You won't even have to work to keep the house clean because your perfect little children will LOVE having chores, and everything will be fine and dandy. We all have had these dreams right? Well maybe I was just crazy, maybe it't not normal to think like that. But I did. I have always wanted to be a mom. For real, as long as I can remember that's all I wanted.
Now here I am. 3 kids later.
Life is crazy.
I have been told 3 is the hardest number of kids to have. I believe it.
I can't wait for bed time every evening. I literally could cry if nap time doesn't happen. I NEED nap time. Don't get me wrong. I love my boys. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Every one always says "these days go by to fast". Lately, I wish they would go by faster! Does that make me a bad mom? I don't think so. I have a 2 and 3 year old that literally spend 90% of their day making the other one mad. Pleeeease tell me why I would want this day to go any slower than it already is?!
I go on pinterest and see all these fun craft ideas, fun games to play and educational activities to do, to make my kids little geniuses. I make these plans to do something with them every day. something that will make them smarter. But usually it doesn't happen. And when it does, there are a lot more tears and fits than I had anticipated. At the end of the night, I look back and feel like I am not as good of a mom as I should be. My 3 year old can't write his name or say his ABC's. What am I doing wrong? I must be messing these kids up so bad... I tell myself that constantly.
But honestly! My kids are LOVED. That very same 3 year old that can't write his name, tells me at least 20 times a day that he loves me. He gives me kisses and hugs and asks me to play legos and licoln logs with him. My 2 year old throws a fit if I don't hold his hand every time we get out of the car.
Is that messed up? I don't think so.
Just because I am not living a pinterest life, and my house isn't always clean doesn't mean we don't have a happy life. There is too much yelling, a lot of fighting and I can't wait for this crabby stage to pass. But when it does, I will miss it I'm sure. I will wish they were young again, wish they wanted to hold my hands and give me kisses. But seriously, don't tell me I will miss it. Because right now? I just want a nap.